Today the Yankees lost to the Oakland Athletics 5-4, thanks to a 3-run homer by the immortal legend of greatness Marco Scutaro. The homerun was not given up by Kyle Farnsworth or by Kyle Farnsworth wearing a Mariano Rivera costume. It was given up by (gasp) Mariano Rivera! This gut-wrenching loss prompted me to come up with a strange, stupid, somewhat insentive, and most definitly retarded theory. Today's date is April 15th, the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier. Players across baseball are honoring Robinson by wearing number 42. But Mariano Rivera is not honoring Robinson because he is the only current player allowed to wear 42 after it was retired in 1997. Which means that the ghost of Jackie Robinson gave magic ghost powers to Marco Scutaro to hit the homerun off of Rivera because Robinson wanted revenge for Rivera not giving up number 42."Ross, that is so fucking stupid. Ghosts aren't real and you are a racist."
"Shut up alter-ego, you know I like the blacks."
"The fact that you are calling them 'the blacks' makes you even more of a racist."
"But c'mon, the theory could be kind of true, right?"
"No."
"But can you at least concede that if ghosts existed, they would have magic powers?"
"If ghosts existed, you would belong to MENSA. But they don't. So you are a stupid, mindless, monkey turd-eating jackass."
"Thanks, alter ego."
"Don't mention it."
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