The Big Q with...Bill Belichick

BBBC: Today we have a very special guest for the Big Q! More special than that fairy Rich Hill. Welcome to the program, Coach Belichick.

Bill Belichick: (mumbles)

BBBC: Although we are Jet fans at BBBC, we really appreciate what you've done with the Patriots. What has been the toughest part of coaching this great team?

Bill Belichick: Many things. I cannot elaborate further.

BBBC: Ok...Are you excited for the Brady-Moss tandem? How will Moss impact your team?

Bill Belichick: There will be an impact of some degree.

BBBC: But what degree?

Bill Belichick: To a certain degree or extent.

BBBC: How is your relationship with Jets Head Coach Eric Mangini?

Bill Belichick: I cannot disclose any information on my relationship with this possible coaching figure.

BBBC: Possible? He is the Head Coach! Please, answer the question.

Bill Belichick: Eric is a person.

BBBC: Why are you so fond of the 3-4 defensive scheme?

Bill Belichick: I don't know of such a scheme.

BBBC: Yes you do, you secretive asshole.

Bill Belichick: I can't confirm or deny anything.

BBBC: Did you enjoy playing football at Wesleyan?

Bill Belichick: If I did attend such a school and play such a sport, I can only answer perhaps.

BBBC: What makes Tom Brady so special?

Bill Belichick: (mumbles) Tom could possibly be playing quarterback this season but nothing is definite.

BBBC: Are you telling me there is a chance Tom Brady won't start this year?

Bill Belichick: If this player exists, then this possibility could occur in the near future unless other circumstances arise.

BBBC: You're fucking kidding right? You won't even acknowledge that Tom Brady exists?

Bill Belichick: The status of my player's existence or non existence is not available to the public at this time.

BBBC: Will you tell me anything at all about your coaching career, life, family, hobbies, or even fetishes?

Bill Belichick: The Patriots organization, which might or might not participate in the 2007-2008 NFL season, forbids any disclosure of such matters.

BBBC: Do you have sand in your vagina?

Bill Belichick: I cannot disclose the status of my possible vagina(s).

BBBC: Would you screw a llama for two thousand dollars?

Bill Belichick: Depends on the girth.

BBBC: What?

Bill Belichick: Nothing.

BBBC: If you could be any other person besides yourself, who would you be?

Bill Belichick: Perhaps I would be a gray, ambiguous blob that dwells in some sort of non-descript housing area. However, I cannot confirm if this is true.

BBBC: Thanks for your time. Asshole.