As I type this, trumpets play in the background and thousands are in mourning. Today would would have been Barbaro's birthday, the sweet horse who died just a few months ago. I personally never knew or spoke to Barbaro and never much cared for horse racing. However, this horse, with his galloping, neighing, and eating of grain truly moved me. Barbaro was more than just a horse. He was the single greatest being to ever live on this Earth. He was the Horse Jesus. Nay, he was the Horse God! I hope that somewhere in Horse Heaven he is watching over humanity, thinking about all the things he thought about when he was still alive, such as food, sex, and defecation. I also pray that his remains are made into the finest and sturdiest glue this country has ever seen.Because Barbaro was so truly special, I would like to start a fund to build a memorial for Barbaro. I suggest that this memorial stand at exactly 200 stories and consist entirely of oats, because I heard Barbaro loved oats. This behemoth memorial can be built in the shape of horse, with eyes made entirely of rare crystal. Since I am from New York, I hope Mayor Bloomberg will demolish several homes or schools to make room for Barbaro's memorial. The citizens of New York will understand.
Happy Birthday, Dead Barbaro. You were the brownest and the most horse-like of all the horses.
(Photo from The Onion, America's finest news source)
1 comment:
why did u shout that horse and why would u do it on its birthday and why would u take a sad horrible picture of it and post it for the world to see your sad person!!!!!!!!!!!and very mentaly retarded and your sick very very sik person!!!!!!!!animal hater!!!!!
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