Dear Tony La Russa, It has come to my attention that you always wear your sunglasses. By always, I mean during day and night games. Why do you need them during night games? There is a clear lack of sunlight during the nightime. Therefore sunglasses would be rendered useless under such conditions. However, you continue to wear your sunglasses during these ballgames played under dark skies. I am going to assume you don't have an acute eye condition that forces you to always wear sunglasses but that you wear sunglasses because you are an arrogant prick. People who wear sunglasses all the time aren't cool, Tony. I repeat, you are not cool. In fact, these sunglasses shout to the world that you are a pompous douchebag. I realize that your cock is still tender from the fellatio author Buzz Bizzinger gave you a few years ago in the book "Three Nights in August." Still, you should be able to realize that despite the tingly feeling you still have down there, you are a smug asshole. In summation, Tony, I beseech you to take off your fucking sunglasses.
Your friend, Ross
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