Pretend for a minute that Jesus Christ is alive in 2007. What if Jesus, somehow walking amongst his blessed children again, played baseball? Here is a scouting report of a certain wiry ballplayer with the initials J.C.Name: Jesus Christ
Birthplace: Bethlehem, Palastine
DOB: 10/25/0
Height: 5'6''
Weight: 120
Bats: Switch
Throws: Right
Posistion (s): Second base, Shortstop
Offense- Good two-strike hitter...cannot be tempted by outside pitch...knows how to go the other way...great at sacrificing himself to move runners along...adequate gap power but lacks homerun power...more power from right side...can turn groundballs into hits (or sometimes wine)...led majors in walk-off hits and hit by pitches...saint-like patience at plate
Contact Hitting: 41 (out of 50) Power Hitting: 28 Plate Discipline: 49
Defense- Poor throwing arm...ball sails in too high an arc...accurate/straight throws...footwork limited by lack of cleats (only plays in sandals)...struggles with pop-ups due to halo interference...good range due to light frame...excellent leaping/hovering ability...savior of balls hit up middle
Range: 44 Throwing Strength: 25 Throwing Accuracy: 38
Speed- Very fast...appears to float over grass...nimble...light radiates from feet...blinds fielders
Footspeed: 48 Agility: 44
Make-up- Strong leadership qualities...future manager...inspires teammates and leads by example...forgives fielders for making errors...12 person entourage sometimes interferes with practice...refuses to play on Sunday (possible liability)...very close to Father (former ballplayer)...loves his neighbors and opponents (possibly too much)...lacks tenacity
Injury History- Tore rotator cuff playing winter ball...quick healer...injured ACL and hand ligaments in off-season crucification mishap...resurrected career once riddled with injuries
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