The Big Q with...Rich Hill

Hello and welcome to Bring Back Bubba Crosby's popular question and answer segment, the Big Q. We are here with Chicago Cubs left-hander Rich Hill.

BBBC: Why have you been so successful this year?

Rich Hill: I've really been locating my off-speed pitches. My curveball has had a lot of break this year and my change is deceptive enough to get these hitters out. Another reason for my good start is confidence. When I go out there, I always feel like I have a chance to win.

BBBC: You've been called the "Gay Barry Zito." Any thoughts about that?

Rich Hill: It's a great honor to be compared to such an outstanding pitcher. However, I am not a homosexual.

BBBC: You hail from Milton, Massachusetts. What is it like growing up as a gay man in Massachusetts?

Rich Hill: I would not know because I am not gay.

BBBC: What was your "welcome to the big leagues" moment?

Rich Hill: It would have to be the first time I ever jogged out to the mound at Wrigley Field. The grass was so green and everything was electric.

BBBC: When you have group sex with the other Cubs players, are you on the top or bottom?

Rich Hill: I am not gay.

BBBC: Bigger man sausage, Carlos Zambrano or Derek Lee?

Rich Hill: I must reiterate that I am not gay.

BBBC: Who is the toughest batter that you have ever faced?

Rich Hill: I would have to say (Albert) Pujols. He kills the pitches in and loves going the other way. It is almost impossible to get him out.

BBBC: Favorite color?

Rich Hill: Blue

BBBC: Favorite ice cream flavor?

Rich Hill: Chocolate Chip

BBBC: Favorite sexual position?

Rich Hill: I don't know how to answer that.

BBBC: If you didn't play baseball, you would have been a...?

Rich Hill: Probably a school teacher. I love to work with kids and help them learn new things.

BBBC: Like the proper way to ejaculate in someone's mouth?

Rich Hill: Ok, I've had enough. I am ready to leave.

BBBC: Sorry about that. I promise I won't ask any more questions related to your obvious homosexuality. What is your favorite band?

Rich Hill: Green Day and AC/DC

BBBC: Does my bright green tie frighten you?

Rich Hill: No

BBBC: How many pieces of bubble-gum can you fit in your sternum?

Rich Hill: Jesus Christ, I have no idea. This is absurd.

BBBC: The one item you can't live without? No wait, I'll answer that one. Dildo.

Rich Hill: Fuck you, I am getting out of here. This was the worst experience of my life.

BBBC: Thanks for your time, Rich. We'll be back next week with another great interview!