Let's Dish About 'Roids

An inside source wrote to BBBC about the rampant steroid use in Major League Baseball. He/she wished to report his/her findings with the rest of the world.

We all know who's 'roiding and who's not, right? Wrong. I've been around quite a few clubhouses this past year and let me tell you, there are many ballplayers juicing up who you might not know about. Take that imp David Eckstein, he's totally on steroids. The little guy is pumping hormones in his ass every other hour. Remember those multiple homeruns he hit last year? Steroids....I'm sure you think Prince Fielder is just a fat fuck who stores jelly donuts under the folds of his man tits. Little do you know that he also stores syringes in there too....Guess who else is raging on 'roids? Jose Valentine. Anyone with a moustache like that has to be hiding something....Ok, enough hitters. We all know they have shrunken testicles and shortened lifespans. How about some pitchers? Mike Hampton is on the DL again and will not pitch in 2007. Last year he had something called "Tommy John" surgery which is a bullshit fabricated excuse to cover up the fact that he uses more HGH and horse steroids than an Austrian street fighter.....David Wells is fat and has diabetes. Little do people know that the yodels he eats for breakfast are laced with gorilla hormones, amphetamines, and extra potent HGH.....Oh and how about that closer Billy Wagner? Only 23 years ago he could barely throw 80 mph and now he is throwing 98 mph routinley. That guy is taking some good fucking steroids.....Last, but certainly not least, is Jason Kendall. That lying, constipated raccoon managed to more than double his homerun total last year. One homerun is hell of a lot more than zero, you roided up motherfucker.

That's all the dirt I have for today. I want to thank BBBC for funding my investigation and strategically placing me in all of those laundry bins and closets.