Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Oh Pedro Gomez, What Will You Do Without Mr. Bonds?

Poor Pedro Gomez. His current life's work is to follow around a certain San Francisco slugger, filing reports for the World Wide Leader. Pedro has been on the Bonds case for quite a few years. He has spent his time on Sportscenter telling the world that Bonds ate chili for breakfast or has a sore hamstring or hit a ball really hard in batting practice. He is utterly devoted to covering the record breaking career of Barry Bonds. What will happen to our pal Pedro once Barry Bonds breaks the all-time homerun record? Tell Pedro not to fear, because BBBC has a comprehensive list of careers that he can choose from once Bonds is the homerun king!

The List

1. Eel Farmer

2. NASCAR food vendor

3. Chris Berman's towel boy

4. Electronics store manager

5. Sean Salisbury's phallus photographer

6. John Clayton's head polisher

7. Stephen A. Smith's nigga

8. President of the Federation

9. Renaissance fair jockey

10. FOX baseball studio analyst

Pedro can earn $650 per week as Stephen A. Smith's nigga

11. Pedro Feliz biographer

12. Gatorade flavor tester

13. Pedro Gomez biographer

14. Napolean Dynamite fan club operator

15. Astronaut

16. Time-traveller

17. Insurance claims adjuster

18. Chris Berman's personal cheese maker

19. Figurine afficianado

20. Clown God

21. Pirate

22. Priest

23. Pagan Priest

24. Craig Biggio stalker

25. Chairman of some sort of board

26. Super villian

27. Normal villlian

28. Blogmaster

29. War Czar

30. Connect Four legend

31. Ghost Pirate

32. Infomercial actor

33. Professional playa

34. Puzzle master

35. Senator

36. Nail store worker

37. Boxcar story teller

38. Macaroni farmer

39. Secret pie chef

40. African proverb dispenser

Pedro Gomez could be the Lou Gehrig of Connect Four

1 comment:

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